Strictly Wrong Dancing

Oh boy
Strictly Come Dancing
Have announced
Next week's dances -
It's the Tango and Jive

Yessss
The two things
I sort of know about
And like to do

Must watch
See if I can recognise
Any of the moves...

At last
Saturday is here
I have been looking forward
To this
All week!
Have already set
The video
Catch them moves they do
See how it is properly done

Right
Here it is

Oh,
Here's the Jive
Uh?
Wassat?
It's a bit bouncy...
What's with all the leg kicks?
goodness
This lot bounce more than Ceroc!
Wish they would try
Modern Jive
Instead
Might be easier for the celebrities

Right
Next up
The Tango
Uh?
What is this?
What music are they playing?
What the heck are they doing?
Andrew Castle
What are you doing
Can you imagine
If I were to go out tonight
To one of the usual venues
Go up to the DJ
And ask them to play
Marc Bolan's
20th Century Boy
and then proceed
to head-bang my way
through that track
whilst also doing Tango?
Get the white coats ready...
I would expect to be
Slung out of the venue!
Yet
This is what
Is displayed
On the BBC
As
Er,
Entertaining examples of Tango...

Why do I keep covering
my eyes
With my hands
When watching this program?

And yet
I will watch it
And the results show
And the program "It takes Two"
Which is sometimes
Very embarrassing to watch

Celebrity Tango... you can keep it...

 - Ken Royden