The Simpsons Guide to Tango

16th January 2009

Some imagined quotes - if the Simpson's learnt Tango...:

Homer: Hey, how come you never dance tango anymore?
Bart: I'll tell you the truth, Dad. I wasn't good at it right away, so I quit. I hope you're not mad.
Homer: Son, come here. Of course I'm not mad. If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just forget about tango and and we'll go do WCS.

Lisa: Mom, Tango is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.

Homer: That guy impressed me and I am not easily impressed. Wow, *Comme Il Faut *.

Mr. Burns: I'll keep it short and sweet -- Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in tango.

Marge: You know, milongas turned into hard-core sex so gradually, I didn't even notice.

Homer: Son, when you participate in milonga, it's not whether you actually get to dance: it's how drunk you get.

Lionel Hutz: Well, she's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally stepped on her foot. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "stepped" with "stamped."

Homer: I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through tango. Number 1: I meant to do that. Number 2: Oh, good idea! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.

Bart: I am through with learning sequences!
Homer: Son, I'm proud of you! I was twice your age when I figured that out.

Mayor Quimby: Oh, dear God. Can't this town go one day without a milonga?

Homer: Mmmmmmm, shoes.

Mr. Burns: What good is tango if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man?

Chief Wiggum: Tangoistas only come out at night. Or in this case, at day.

Mr. Burns: Smithers, I've been thinking. Is it wrong to have absolutely no regard for floorcraft or women in order to dance impressive moves?
Smithers: Yes, sir.
Mr. Burns: Let me rephrase that. Is it wrong if I have absolutely no regard for floorcraft or women in order to dance impressive moves?
Smithers: No, sir. Who would you like killed?

Bart: Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of tango? You know, the shoes.

Grandpa: Dear Mr. President, There are too many styles of tango nowadays. Please eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot.

- Christopher O'Shea, 16th January 2009