The George W Bush Guide to Tango

16th January 2009

If President George W Bush were to comment on Tango...:

Yesterday, you made note of my - the lack of my talent when it came to dancing. But nevertheless, I want you to know I danced with joy.

[actual quote]

They misunderestimated my leading.

I've abandoned tango principles to save tango

I want to share with you an interesting new tango style -for two reasons, one, it's interesting, and two, my wife thought of it-or has actually been involved with it; she didn't think of it. But she thought of it for this speech

Anyone engaging in illegal tango moves will be caught and persecuted.

I didn't grow up in BA -as a matter of fact-near BA-I grew up in Texas. Therefore, it was a pleasant contrast to see BA. And I particularly like it when I'm fishing.

But oftentimes I'm asked: Why? Why do you care what happens outside of Tango?

"And they have no disregard for human life" ~ describing women who do high boleos on crowded dancefloors

It would be a mistake for the United States Senate to allow any kind of Nuevo tango to come out of that country.

I think it was in the Rose Garden where I issued this brilliant statement: If I had a magic wand -but the president doesn't have a magic wand. You just can't say, 'No more sequences.'

The school is growing, learning is high, students are up, people are dancing. It's not as good as we'd like, but-and to the extent that we find weakness, we'll move.

Should the Nuevo tango regime-do they have the sovereign right to have shoes? So, like, if I were you, that's what I'd ask me. And the answer is, yes, they do.

And I, unfortunately, have been to too many disasters at milonga.

The German shoes are fabulous.

This nuevo tango stuff is a little frustrating.

Let's make sure that there is certainty during uncertain times in our milonga.

Now, there are some who would like to create a new tango - new tangoists is what I like to call them.

I want to thank the dozens of tangoistas who actually bother to learn technique, the actual examples of people who made the firm and solemn commitment to work hard to embetter themselves.

And so the fact that they purchased the shoe meant somebody had to make the shoe. And when somebody makes a shoe, it means there's jobs at the shoe-making place.

Oftentimes people ask me, 'Why is it that you're so focused on helping the tango dancers in strange parts of the world?'

Let me start off by saying that in 2000 I said, 'Come to my school. I'm an agent of sequences.' In 2004, I said, 'I'm not interested in sequences-I want to teach dance.' Every tango teacher has got to say 'sequences.' That's what the American people expect."

Take London seriously because that's the center of-that's the place where people get so despondent and despair that they're willing to come and dance with U.S. citizens.

I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office.

[OK, that one wasn't Tango...]

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- Christopher O'Shea, 16th January 2009