The Star Wars Guide To Tango
24th January 2009
If Star Wars were to comment on Tango...:
Darth Vader: "I've been waiting for you, Obi-Wan. We meet again, at last. The nuevo circle is now complete. When I left you, I was but the learner; now I am the maestro."
Obi-Wan: "Only a maestro of sequences, Darth."
Han Solo: "Stay sharp. There's two more coming in. They're gonna try and cut us off."
Luke: "Well why don't you outrun them? I thought you said your dancing was fast!"
Han Solo: "Watch your mouth kid. Besides, I know milonga. We'll lose em'! Here's where the fun begins!"
Obi-Wan: "How long before you can make the jump to traspie?"
Han Solo: "It'll take a few moments to get to the right point in the music"
Luke: "Are you kidding? At the rate they're gaining?"
Han Solo: "Traveling through a crowded dancefloor ain't like dusting crops, boy! Without musicality and floorcraft we could crash into someone, or dance too close to a wayward boleo and that'd end your dance real quick, wouldn't it?"
Yoda: "Sequences are the path to the Dark Side. Sequences lead to Moves. Moves lead to Disconnection. Disconnection leads to Annoyed Hedgehogs."
Han (to Leia): "Afraid I was going to leave without giving you a goodbye dance?"
Leia: "I'd just as soon dance with a Wookee."
Han: "I can arrange that. You could use a good dance!"
Obi-Wan: "The music is what gives a tangoista his power. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the milonga together."
Leia: "Oh, you make it so difficult sometimes."
Han Solo: "I do, I really do. You could be a little nicer, though. Come on, admit it. Sometimes you think nuevo's all right."
Obi-Wan: "For over a thousand generations, the Maestros were the guardians of technique and expression in tango... before the dark times... before the sequences."
Leia (to Han): "Captain, being held by you isn't quite enough to get me excited."
Darth Vader: "I find your lack of sequences disturbing."
Obi-Wan: "That's no practica. It's a milonga."
Yoda: "Dance or practice... there is no try."
Princess Leia: "You came in those clothes? You're braver than I thought."
Han Solo: "Not a bad bit of floorcraft, huh? You know, sometimes I amaze even myself."
Princess Leia: "That doesn't sound too hard."
Yoda: "Shoes matter not, ... Look at me. Judge me by shoes, do you? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Music, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Music around you; here, between you, me, the room, the dancers, everywhere, yes. Even between your foot and the floor."
C3PO: "Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating a crowded dance floor in London is approximately 3,720 to 1."
Luke: "What's in your rucksack?"
Yoda: "Only what you take with you."
Han Solo: "Great, Chewie! Great! Always leading with your centre."
Obi-Wan: "You're going to find that many of the techniques we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view."
Leia to Han: "Would it help if I led?"
Yoda: "Good relations with the Modern Jivers, I have."
Han Solo: "Hokey sequences and traditional steps are no match for nuevo, kid."
Yoda: "Once you start down the dark path of the Move Monster, forever will it dominate your dancing, consume you it will."
Obi-Wan: "Who's the more foolish . . . the fool who leads or the fool who follows him?"
C3PO: "Don't worry about Master Luke . . . He's quite a good dancer you know . . . for a human being."
Han Solo: "Luke's crazy. He can't even walk, much less lead anybody."
Vader: "This will be a day long remembered. It has seen the end of Kenobi and will soon see the end of Nuevo."
Obi-Wan: "Negracha's. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious."
- Christopher O'Shea, 17th January 2009